Audacity, TASCAM and TGIK

Prologue: Originally I had the lady's real name here. I changed it to TGIK (This Girl I Know) to protect me.

TGIK doesn't believe in computers. She owns a cell phone, but that is the extent of her technological delvings. So, I have no fear she will trip over this blog, and stick me in the middle of a shit-storm - which has happened before. ( Surprising? I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was.) I hope.

TGIK helped me record a simple rhythm guitar track Friday and Saturday. Yes it took 2 days (well a day and half) for one #$%ing rhythm track. TGIK was my button pusher, she sings but does not play an instrument.

The reason it took so long is two-fold: distraction and equipment. As for the equipment, I am doing this in my Apartment Bedroom. I am using a TASCAM MF-P01, a serviceable but not very advanced 4-track. After a few hours of trying to get this antique to do what I want, I gave up on it. Instead I used it as my board and input it directly into my computer. For the computer, I have been looking over Pro-tools (audio recording software) which is extremely expensive.

I spend some time at sourceforge.org, because I play with Unix/Linux computers and that's the place to go for programs. I found an open source (free to use) program called Audacity, which in some ways is superior to Pro-tools, though it doesn't have as many features. It is free and does the job. SO - for those audiophiles in the audience, I used the ancient TASCAM's on board monitor as pre-amp, and output it to the sound card on my main system. It took hours of twiddling potentiometers to get my jury-rigged system stabilized. But I got it.

Now for the distractions. First I have a bunch of stuff on my mind. I am in litigation with a large, evil corporation over some Montana property that they want to push a road through - a logging road. I have been battling for almost 5 years. I am almost out of money, hocked the property up to it's ears and I will probably lose everything fairly soon. My deceased daughter's birthday is coming up next month and I always have a bad time with that. I hate my job, but I am currently stuck because every cent I have is tied up in the Montana lawsuit.

Enter TGIK, another unexpected voice from my past, and there have been a Twilight Zone-ish amount of those lately.

TGIK is as pretty as a picture. Her face is close to perfectly symmetrical, a desirable quality in models and movie stars. She has a line of freckles across the bridge of her nose that is just right, as far as I'm concerned. Here eyes are green or blue, depending on the day, which I find fascinating. I'm big on looking people in the eyes to see who's there. I'm afraid I over do it with TGIK, because I never know what color her eyes will be. A few years ago she began announcing "Blue" or "Green" when she greets me. It's sort of a running joke. Oh yeah, as far as I'm concerned TGIK is married. I only hear from her when she has a big fight with her husband, whom I have never met. She has divorced him twice, and married him twice. The last time they didn't get re-married. She claims this leaves her free to sleep with anyone she chooses. I don't actually agree, but when she calls I always invite her over. Over the years we have been intimate several times, always (I think) when she was fighting with her "husband".

She get's a little frenetic when she first get's stoned, but she calms down quickly. She likes music and thinks I am a genius (I don't have the heart to tell her lol). She is a really touchy-feely type of person, as am I. Because that type of thing has been absent in my life lately, I let her - helped her be as snugly as she wished. I am very fond of her, but I don't Love her romantically. It was nice to just hold somebody sweet for a while, and even better because we have always been such good friends - even when I told her I wouldn't have sex with her, this time, a few days ago.

We got everything organized so TGIK pushed the buttons and I could concentrate on getting the guitar right. It took 32 takes just to get the levels straight. It was annoying because I am (make that was) a certified Audio Engineer. TGIK made us breakfast! It amazed me because she is not really domestic. That stalled things for a bit and by the time we got back to it it was time for me to get stoned again.

The space that remains when you line up all the equipment in my bedroom is close. TGIK and I kept brushing each other, and YES it made it difficult to concentrate.

After 3 throw-away takes, I finally got a great one. 16 more bars and we would have made it! That's when the sirens started. I said "Oh Fuck" and pulled the the guitar cord out of the guitar. TGIK looked at me in surprise and said, "I thought that one was good."

Now, for those Audiophiles paying close attention: I had been recording voice, earlier, and because the apartment is not sound proofed you have to take your chances: an open mike is open to everything. This time the sirens were not picked up on the track because I was input straight through the board to the computer. I was so distracted that I didn't realize it.

During a later take I had some unexpected visitors, and TGIK went and hid in the 2nd bedroom. She thought it might be her "husband", who doesn't know me, has never even heard my name and couldn't know where I lived unless he followed her. (which would make him a real sick one). She ran and I continued strumming, but the whole scene aggravated me enough that I strummed a little too hard and the track clipped and distorted the last 32 measures.

Would I never get this done? Ah well. I ordered a Pizza for dinner, we blew right through lunch. We set up for another take, and I brought the sheet music up on the computer. I tapped my foot in 4/4 and nodded my head when it was time for TGIK to push record.

POING! My favorite cowgirl was IM-ing me and I forgot to silence the IM client. When this sweetheart contacts me I drop everything. She is one of those very special people, who (if she gets a break and some guidance) will be someone special someday. She is only 13 and has become a good friend. I don't know why she bothers with an old fart like me. But she is witty and sweet and has seen more than her share of stupid bullshit in her young life.

So TGIK donned her best pouty face while I chatted with my favorite cowgirl. TGIK didn't realize that this was more like big-brother, she thought that my little cowgirl was the reason I wouldn't sleep with her the other night. Not that the cowgirl isn't gorgeous, she is. However, she is only 13 and not the reason I told TGIK, she could spend the night but I didn't want to have sex. I never turned her down before. The reason I did is ... is way to complicated for a single blog entry.

Time to get stoned again and TGIK wanted to go out somewhere. I was all frazzled so we got toasted and went and got Ice Cream. When we got back I set my jaw, grabbed the guitar and TGIK punched record. 1 take. We got it. I put the guitar down and sighed. I was so relieved I could have cried.

TGIK, dropped into my lap and grabbed both my ears (honest, I was so surprised I tried to jerk away, which hurt more than I thought it would). She kissed me with a fierce tenderness that stunned me. We had kissed before, we are both such snugly people that it was inevitable, and we had been intimate before. I kissed her back, with as much feeling as I could muster. It was nice, it was very nice. We did it a bit more and then she stopped and backed away to look at me, with her hands on my shoulders. They were green today.

"It's that Princess person, isn't it?" she pouted. I didn't understand at first, I am a pretty good kisser, if I do say so myself. (It's all a matter of concentration) I was a little shocked. I started to laugh aloud, when I got it, because the mis-understanding was so funny - and so uncharacteristic. There had never been a spec of jealousy between us and that is what this was. I tried to explain that if I was 40 years younger, I would probably be chasing that cowgirl around the corral, but under the circumstance the extent of our relationship was helping with homework and one short wrestling/tickling match.

See, TGIK didn't know my cowgirl was only 13, and I didn't tell her the real reason behind my earlier refusal because it was actually a little embarrassing. She probably wouldn't have believed me, anyway. She knows me well and believes that I don't waste time on romantic lost causes. I think if I told her it was because of someone I had never kissed, never even held hands with, that she wouldn't have believed me.

I would like to tell you that I pushed her on the bed and we made passionate love for 3 hours (yes I can, we had before), but I didn't. I couldn't actually. Just the kissing was enough to make me feel like I had betrayed the other person, even though we had never done.. anything really. Jesus, this love stuff sucks.

So we played the track over and over, we sang to it and I sort of worked out some harmonies and a bass part. It has been a very long time since I tried to record anything other than a scratch track. Now I have to work out the fills and the lead guitar. I hope it's easier than the rhythm track. I don't have a drum machine, but I think I might get one, 'cause I really don't like drummers very much (lol). I've worked out a cool bass part, but I don't have one of those either (hint!). I can probably use a blind track to get the bass down and then track it after - when I find a bass.

Gee, I wish I had someone to push buttons for me.

PS: to my favorite hot jumper: I'll miss you most of all, Scarecrow.

Who Knew?

Do you remember how much fun a snowball fight is? How about how much fun it is to stay up too late, and get silly; just silly. When's the last time you built a snowman (snowperson?) Have you been missing this, for whatever reason? Yeah, me too. I've been a hermit way too long.

We have forgotten the importance of having fun. Over the past few years I watched the World get crazier and watched people do terrible things. It's been difficult for me to work up any enthusiasm for frivolousness. I pay attention to politics, I listen to what the bastards say. (keep your friends close and your enemies closer). I have a reasonably advanced grasp of politics. I am usually able to translate the bullshit they spout and figure out what it really means. Generally, when a politician makes a speech, someone is about to get sodomized. That hasn't changed.

Some of my friend will never forgive me. I bombarded them with email pleas to write congress and tell their friends, sign this or that petition.. well you get the idea. I set up an ACLU sponsored meeting. I was surprised to see which old (or new) went which way with that mess. I believe it is, now, generally accepted that we were lied to, and the invasion was wrong and badly handled. Torture, wire taps, lies, the attacks on the constitution, watching the Bush Administration destroy everything this country stands for,; there were many times I could have wept.

It's because I say I'm Agnostic (shudder) that my Christian friends discount some of the things I say. Could it be that they think I'm stupid or crazy; or that I am a mean or evil person, They obviously know me better - it's why we are friends. But, somwhere in thier hearts, these myth-believers (I kinda like that one, I wonder if I can copyright it?) Think I am deluded. That I haven't seen the light. That I am a godless, pinko, commie, fag. It's why they railed against my postions during the last Admnistration; inneffectively I grant you, but they railed none the less. It's why some of them don't communicate with me now. So this is for all my Republican friends. The one's who tsk'd like a Nuns in a porno shop when I railed against the war. The one's who told me they wouldn't vote for Obama because he's Black.

"Most Human dilemnas can be solved with the proper application of sunlight on one's face"

So I forgot. I forgot that the best times of my life, were mostly un-planned silliness. Think about it. Your "fondest memories" are probably about accidental tenderness, un-planned silliness and quiet moments of natural awe (or natural "awwww"), with those for whom you care. It's not being a "Rock Star" that will be your final reminiscence when you loose this mortal coil. Check your own memories again; what are the strongest good memories? The Eureka look on a child's face when you help them figure something out for the first time? The rowdy, cheeks-burning joy of a snowball fight, or sitting by the fire after? The scent of apple pie (cookies, turkey, or fill in with your own favorite:) cooking? Whatever it is I'll wager someone you cared about and some silliness or frivolity figured heavily.

So, after all that whining in the last post, my actual Saturday turned out great. A day I will never forget, I had fun.

Today I spent the afternoon with my nephew Austin. He and I are best friends. I have been busy and we haven't seen each other for a while. He is struggling with a new Dad and a new Sister and he is just turning 7. Whew, and I thought I had problems. He is doing well with it, but he is a willful child and he doesn't like being told what to do. I understand, and I believe it is a good trait to nurture - up to a point.

He is a rowdy, restless child and a handful because he is so blasted smart, too. He has been that way since he was very small. He and I started a- I don't know, call it a game. I would sit, cross legged on the floor, he would sit in my lap and we would practice calm concentration. Although, we called it rock and talk, if we called it anything. It included some gentle, nearly imperceptible rocking, and slow, quiet conversation. Sometimes, it included hushed singing or humming. Whenever possible it included sunlight. I did not mention the words meditation, zen, mantra or anything like that. I didn't bring it up to him or Mom, or Grandma or even Great-Grandma. But Austin was always less problematic afterward. Today he headed straight for Lotus position so I knew he was troubled, or in trouble with Mom and Dad

Later we played. I may be the only adult who pretends with him, kids are all full of boredom killing imagination and are usually discouraged from using it. It's one of the reasons we have so many frustrated, constipated 30 and 40-year-olds. So I pretend with him. I listen to his questions and give him straight answers. I don't lie as a rule of life and I would never lie to my best buddy - I don't have to, The truth is always better than a lie. We ran outside and shot the aliens. We hid all the Teddy-Bears. We talked about his sister, and about him.

He has grown too big for me to carry, anymore, as we discovered during our last outing to the Zoo. He has been sympathetic about it, and has avoided leaping into my arms, like he used to do. I feel worse than he does about it. Today, little sister was getting all the attention. She got the toys that could be opened, he got an art set with so many pieces, that even I said "wait until you get home". He stood there looking at me, after our conversation. I saw the disappointment in his adorable face. I reached out to him and he climbed into my arms. He rested his head on my shoulder, as he used to do.

It was worth going through a horrendous week for just one day like that, never mind two in a row. I just forgot what the important stuff was. I will try to remember that in the future. And to my friends who gave me such an unforgettable Saturday, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Oh yeah, Get some sunshine on your face.